Boston Divorce Lawyer Blog

Dan Savage presents his viewpoint on the state of gay adoption in America today by reframing the argument.  The issue is not “gay parents vs. straight parents.”  The issue should be whether it is better for a child to have parents at all vs. having no parents.

Gay people are allowed to foster children but not adopt them in some states.

“Every child deserves a mother and father.  It would be nice wouldn’t it if it did work out that way. But it’s not gonna work out that way.”

“Why are they in foster care? Because their gay parent abandoned, neglected and abused them? No. Because their straight parents abandoned, neglected and abused them.”

“Gay people don’t have children by accident…Every child that’s been adopted by a gay and lesbian couple is a wanted child.”

I’ve been posting a lot here recently about marriage despite this being a blog about divorce.  But obviously divorce and marriage is related.  As a divorce attorney, I don’t celebrate when my clients get a divorce.  My job is a necessary evil.  Divorce happens and it is the role of the divorce attorney to help lay a foundation out of the financial and emotional ruins of a divorce.

Therefore, I often ask myself the most basic question in my practice – what does being married mean or rather, what should it mean.

The bill did not pass.

I fully support the initiative to place the 2010 California Marriage Protection Act on the ballot.  Last year, California approved Proposition 8 based largely on the idea that allowing same-sex marriage is detrimental to the sanctity of marriage.  Marriage is sacred and needs to be protected from perversion – so goes the argument.  That is why it makes sense to support the 2010 California Marriage Protection Act.  It takes Proposition 8 one step further by banning divorce in the state of California.  If that doesn’t protect the sanctity of marriage, I don’t know what will.

You can read the proposed amendment here: http://rescuemarriage.org/2009/08/22/2010-california-protection-of-marriage-act/

Last week, voters in Maine struck down a law voted on by their legislature and signed into law by their governor, granting same-sex couples equal rights under the law.  This is very disappointing and as I’ve said before, perhaps the rights of the minority should not be placed in the hands of the majority.  If this was the case, we would still have segregation of schools, no voting rights for blacks and women and we’d still prohibit interracial marriages.

I came across a paper by Jeffrey Lax and Justin Phillips, “Gay Rights in the States: Public Opinion and Policy Responsiveness,” published recently in the American Political Science Review.  Here is a chart from that paper illustrating the support for same-sex marriage by varying age groups (click to enlarge):

What this tells us is that in 15-20 years, when the more tolerant 18-29 yr olds become the average age group, same-sex couples will have equality.  This gives me hope but it sure is a long time to wait.

New Hampshire will be the 6th state in the nation to allow same-sex marriage.  The other states are Massachusetts,  Connecticut, Maine, Vermont and Iowa.

I think the tide is starting to turn in favor of equal rights and it makes me proud of our nation.

I’m reminded of Martin Niemoeller’s poem and how we should fight for equality even if it doesn’t directly affect us.

“They came first for the Communists, 
       and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist.

Then they came for the Jews,
      and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew.

Then they came for the trade unionists,
      and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Catholics,
      and I didn’t speak up because I was a Protestant.

Then they came for me,
      and by that time no one was left to speak up.”