This correlation isn’t due to families “doubling down” and growing closer in the face of adversity, but because couples who would otherwise part ways cannot afford to do so.  They cannot afford Court and attorney’s fees, nor do they have the cash on hand to properly divide their estate.  The end result is that people who have terminated their relationship are forced to remain married to one another, often under the same roof.  For some couples, however, this is an unbearable condition.    Throughout history, divorce rates and rates of domestic violence including homicide have shared a correlation: when divorce rates go up, domestic violence rates go down.  The end result of combining all of this information is a frightening picture: when the stressors that make divorce most likely are affecting millions of people, the same root cause places divorce out of reach.  These same stressors make domestic violence more likely, and the inability to obtain a divorce or remove oneself from the marital home make domestic violence more difficult to escape.

So what information can I provide those in such a situation?

•  You may qualify as an “indigent”, or a person who simply does not have the means to afford the fees associated with divorce.  If you do, filing fees and other court costs may be waived.  You may also be eligible for free legal advice or representation.

• Divorcing may require you to “liquidate” your assets, or to transfer property from one spouse to the other.  You should note that the IRS allows divorcing couples to transfer property between one another without incurring any taxes for such transfers.

• Lastly, you should note that if you and/or your children are being subjected to abuse by your spouse, there are both legal protections and other resources available to you.

There are certainly times when divorce is simply out of the question, but if you or someone you know is placing their physical, emotional, or mental health at risk due to the Great Recession, waiting for the economy to turn around should not be an option.

I had the pleasure of sitting down to talk with Maureen Flores, a domestic violence advocate who works for Dove, Inc.  Dove is the only domestic violence agency serving the Norfolk county area of Massachusetts, which includes Quincy and the South Shore.

We talked about the different types of domestic violence, what family and friends should say to someone who they suspect is being battered, and the different types of services that Dove offers.

The recidivism rate for batterers who attended and completed the BIP is unacceptably high.  There can be many explanations – it’s not a voluntary problem for most because they’re referred by the criminal justice system; they see it as punishment; once a batterer, always a batterer.  There are a myriad of explanations but the one thing I know for sure is that they don’t work well.

As a victim of domestic abuse and violence, should you depend on the BIP to rehabilitate your abuser?  A therepist or counselor would tell you that it’s up to you to decide.  However, as a divorce attorney, I don’t have to be impartial and I believe it to be my job to advise people who they should do.  My advise is this: it’s great that the abuser is going to treatment and I hope they never batter someone else but for the abused, it’s already too late.  A good and healthy relationship won’t likely result from any treatment so the victim must move on.  Get a divorce or move away.

A counselor will probably advise that the victim decide for themselves because it empowers them but I believe victims are seeking different advice when they go see an attorney than when they go see a counselor.

Click here for a list of Domestic Violence Programs in Massachusetts.

The Boston Herald recently reported a rise in child abuse cases in Massachusetts.  They attribute the trend to the overall decline in the economy.  When parents are stressed out, the theory is that they take it out on their children.

Even though there hasn’t been any statistics on it yet, I will bet that there has also been a rise in other types of domestic violence in Massachusetts as well – both elder abuse and partner and spousal abuse.

If you know of any possible child abuse, call the ChildHelp line at 800-4-A-Child (800-422-4453).  For other types of domestic abuse, call the 24-Hour Crisis Hotline at (617) 471-1234 or 888-314-3683.

[Boston Herald Article]

[Dove, Inc.]

TIME Magize Story

…unbelievable.  Though I am quite thrilled that she wants to grow up to be just like me – a divorce lawyer.

- M.G.L. Ch. 140, Sec. 131

Translation:

It is illegal to shoot at a picture of your (ex) wife, girlfriend or domestic enemy while at a shooting range.

[Couple Accuse United Airlines...]

I hear all sorts of accusations of domestic abuse as a divorce attorney; more so when I used to work at Greater Boston Legal Services where we helped mostly victims of domestic violence.  Getting drunk and beating your wife is actually not so new.  But blaming the friendly skies for making you do it is a new one.  What surprises me, and it shouldn’t (but maybe since I still am surprised, means that I’m not yet so jaded), is that the wife defends the husband and is suing the airline with him.  This is a classic case of battered women’s syndrome but still, it’s sad.