Boston Divorce Lawyer Blog

I got a call today while offering my time to answer calls for the Massachusetts Bar Association’s monthly Dial-a-Lawyer program regarding the Batterers Intervention Program (BIP).  BIP is a program for batterers in a domestic violence situation.  It is similar to AA for alcoholics where batterers go and get counseling as a group and also individually.  The purpose is to rehabilitate the batterer so that they no longer batter their spouse, significant other or family member.  Does it work? Rarely.

The recidivism rate for batterers who attended and completed the BIP is unacceptably high.  There can be many explanations – it’s not a voluntary problem for most because they’re referred by the criminal justice system; they see it as punishment; once a batterer, always a batterer.  There are a myriad of explanations but the one thing I know for sure is that they don’t work well.

As a victim of domestic abuse and violence, should you depend on the BIP to rehabilitate your abuser?  A therepist or counselor would tell you that it’s up to you to decide.  However, as a divorce attorney, I don’t have to be impartial and I believe it to be my job to advise people who they should do.  My advise is this: it’s great that the abuser is going to treatment and I hope they never batter someone else but for the abused, it’s already too late.  A good and healthy relationship won’t likely result from any treatment so the victim must move on.  Get a divorce or move away.

A counselor will probably advise that the victim decide for themselves because it empowers them but I believe victims are seeking different advice when they go see an attorney than when they go see a counselor.

Click here for a list of Domestic Violence Programs in Massachusetts.

The Boston Herald recently reported a rise in child abuse cases in Massachusetts.  They attribute the trend to the overall decline in the economy.  When parents are stressed out, the theory is that they take it out on their children.

Even though there hasn’t been any statistics on it yet, I will bet that there has also been a rise in other types of domestic violence in Massachusetts as well – both elder abuse and partner and spousal abuse.

If you know of any possible child abuse, call the ChildHelp line at 800-4-A-Child (800-422-4453).  For other types of domestic abuse, call the 24-Hour Crisis Hotline at (617) 471-1234 or 888-314-3683.

[Boston Herald Article]

[Dove, Inc.]

In a dimly lit corner of a Paris bar a delighted young divorcée describes in a soft voice how she spent the day throwing snowballs for the first time in her life. That is not remarkable. This is: Nujood Ali is just 10 years old — and was, until recently, the youngest known divorced person in the world.

TIME Magize Story

…unbelievable.  Though I am quite thrilled that she wants to grow up to be just like me – a divorce lawyer.

[A shooting range] shall not permit shooting at targets that depict human figures, human effigies, human silhouettes or any human images…

- M.G.L. Ch. 140, Sec. 131

Translation:

It is illegal to shoot at a picture of your (ex) wife, girlfriend or domestic enemy while at a shooting range.

This has got to be the most absurd excuse for domestic abuse I have ever heard of.

[Couple Accuse United Airlines...]

I hear all sorts of accusations of domestic abuse as a divorce attorney; more so when I used to work at Greater Boston Legal Services where we helped mostly victims of domestic violence.  Getting drunk and beating your wife is actually not so new.  But blaming the friendly skies for making you do it is a new one.  What surprises me, and it shouldn’t (but maybe since I still am surprised, means that I’m not yet so jaded), is that the wife defends the husband and is suing the airline with him.  This is a classic case of battered women’s syndrome but still, it’s sad.